Gray Vision

The sound of shoes scraping across the cement floor echoed across the court. I gazed out towards the source of the clamor in a daze; the figures were a moving blur before my eyes. They might have been people I knew, spoke with, and laughed with, but I could not make out their faces; everything just… felt… so far, intangible, out of reach. Suddenly, a round object flew towards me. I felt a sensation as it collided with my head. I slowly glanced towards the ground and stared at the object. I recognized what it was after my vision gradually cleared. It was a basketball. Images of my past surged through my mind as I felt an acutely painful feeling, which strengthened its clench by the second, gripping my heart; however, I felt no need to escape its grasp. I wanted something to instantaneously consume me, to devour me. I reckoned that perhaps touching the basketball would surely bring me the closure I sought. I bent down and picked up the ball, feeling its rubbery outer surface. The stabbing ache in my heart grew ever stronger, but, as always, it failed to deal the final crushing blow. It was as if the ball mocking me, taunting me, challenging me to continue my pitiful existence. As I looked up towards the crowd of blurry figures, it seemed as if one of them was waving at me. I did a basic chest pass towards the shapeless figure, and felt a sharp pang coursing throughout my right arm, reminding me of the past I longed to forget, the yearn to play basketball once more, the desire to see my friends again. I leaned back against the lamppost yet again and closed my eyes, as if to escape the harsh reality. All I heard was the rhythmic dull thud of the basketball hitting the ground of the court, which moved further and further away from me. There was a sudden dampness in my eyes, a clench of the heart. Was I able to cry once again? But as much as I tried to release the tears that I wanted so desperately to shed, none came in the end. I then heard a light pitter-pattering sound envelop me. I sardonically smirked and thought to myself: even mother nature mocks me… I opened my eyes and donned the hood of my jacket to look towards the colorless sky. As the raindrops fell, I saw the same basketball that had hit me soar into the air. In what felt like an eternity, the object slowly slipped through the hoop and breathed its last as it contacted the group with a loud thud.

And then, everything faded to white.